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While Little Brother Jolen was waiting for three years to be matched with a Big Brother, his mom kept him engaged with Big Brothers Big Sisters Services in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, by taking him to agency events for “unmatched Littles.” She says she knew early on how important it would be for Jolen to have someone to look up to.

“Jolen was six years old when I decided to enroll him in Big Brothers Big Sisters Services,” Jolen’s mom says. “His father had been incarcerated since he was a baby, and I wanted him to have a network of positive men doing positive things.”

When Jolen was 9, he finally got his Big Brother. He was matched with Murray, who he calls “Mr. Miller” because his mom emphasizes manners.

Murray had worked for over 20 years with inmates at the local detention center, helping them earn their GEDs. He decided that instead of working with dozens of men and women at a time who had already gotten involved with the justice system, he wanted to focus his attention and energy on one young person. He wanted to intervene at a point in someone’s life when he could help make sure they never got onto the wrong path.

“This match requires me to lead by example and illustrate what it’s like to live as a productive African-American male in society.”

– Big Brother Murray

Big Brother Murray first bonded with Jolen over sports and then discovered that Jolen also liked visiting art museums. As a result of being matched with Murray, Jolen became open to new events and activities he hadn’t experienced before. “Jolen is a quiet but in-touch young man who is very cultured in life,” Murray says.

Murray’s role in Jolen’s life was tested when Jolen was in middle school. “Jolen had become a bit of a show-off,” Jolen’s mom says. “He’s a big boy, and tall, which made him popular. He’s also very silly and people even began to label him as a bully.”

Jolen’s mom reached out to Murray for help. He reassured her that Jolen was figuring out who he was, and that Jolen had time to get it right. Murray became Jolen’s voice of reason. When he started to give in to peer pressure, Murray would give Jolen alternatives.

“Watching Jolen grow up into who he is now, he’s not a young man who follows the crowd. He’s confident and sure of himself,” Jolen’s mom says.

The confidence shows up on the football field, too. Jolen is determined to play college football. He says he remembers vividly the first time he realized that playing college ball was a possibility for him. Big Brother Murray, Mr. Miller, had taken him to Wake Forest University for an event with Carolina Panthers linebacker Thomas Davis. They toured the stadium, and Jolen imagined himself playing in a stadium like that.

“After the tour, we had dinner and Thomas Davis talked about his story and how he made it to the NFL,” Jolen says. “That day, Mr. Miller helped me see that if Thomas Davis made it, then I can, too. I can do anything.”

Jolen really can. At the 2018 Big Brothers Big Sisters National Conference, he spoke in front of a crowd to introduce Mr. Miller to the world as the 2018 National Big Brother of the Year.

The crowd at the 2018 BBBSA National Conference gave a standing ovation when the 2018 Big Sister of the Year, Myra, hugged her Little Sister Saleen on stage. Saleen had just introduced Myra to the attendees, and it was Myra’s turn to speak, but they couldn’t go on without a hug first. They both knew how far they had come to get to that moment.

Their story started when Saleen was 6 years old. She had recently lost her father. At school, her teacher knew she wasn’t coping well with the loss, so they referred her to Big Brothers Big Sisters of Broward County. She was matched with Myra, who became her Big Sister and began visiting her at school once a week. They felt instantly connected.

“I knew that Saleen had just lost her father, and I could only imagine how confused she must have felt,” Myra says.

Myra started noticing something troubling about then 6-year-old Saleen. Patches of her thick brown hair were missing. “She had a bald spot on the side of her head,” Myra says. “Even though Saleen was not vocal about the pain she felt, she displayed it in other ways.” She was pulling out her hair. Her eyebrows. Her eyelashes.

“If your day is bad, she always knows how to make you smile, no matter what.”

– Little Sister Saleen

Myra knew she needed to help her Little Sister, so she reached out to their Match Support Specialist. Together, they talked about how to support Saleen and give her tools to cope with her grief. Myra decided to bring supplies to Saleen’s school and help her make a memory book about her father, so they could talk about the happy, positive memories she had of her dad. “I thought it would give her the opportunity to use her creativity to talk about her father and relieve some of that stress,” Myra says. “That first year, we did a lot of crying together, but it all paid off.” Saleen stopped pulling her hair out.

Myra’s lesson to Saleen during that time was one that she continues to carry with her: “Bad things happen in life, but the way you react to them makes a huge difference.”

After Myra and Saleen had been matched for a few years, they both had to face something that tested that lesson.

“In August of 2016, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer. I completed 16 rounds of chemotherapy. In February 2017, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer,” Myra says. “The cancer had spread to my spine.”

Myra was terrified to tell Saleen. “This little girl had already experienced such a big loss in her life,” Myra says. “I didn’t want to contribute any more anxiety.”

Myra went through months of treatments. She was vulnerable to infection, so there were stretches of time when she couldn’t see Saleen. Instead, they called each other and sent cards. Saleen and her mom ran a 5K race that raised money and awareness of breast cancer. “Myra was so committed and strong for my daughter at a time when she honestly didn’t have to be,” Saleen’s mom says.

Eventually, Saleen and her mom were again permitted to visit Saleen’s Big Sister. Yes, her Big Sister has cancer, Saleen says. “But that never stopped her from smiling. Even though we couldn’t see each other that often, we would have the time of our lives when we did.”

Recently, Myra’s doctors pronounced her “NED,” or “No Evidence of Disease.” She is back to seeing Saleen regularly. As Big Brothers Big Sisters of America’s National Big Sister of the Year, Myra is looking forward to her five-year match anniversary with her Little Sister and continuing to teach her lessons that will empower and inspire her potential.

Jacquelyn knew the strain that having an incarcerated parent could have on a child, as her father had been incarnated most of her life. When she heard about Big Brothers Big Sisters’ Amachi program, which pairs mentors with children who have incarcerated parents, she signed up to be a Big Sister to help a child in a similar situation.

“I [signed up] in hopes to help and be a role model to a kid who might need that in their life,” Jacquelyn says. “To just be an extra support.”

She was matched with 12-year-old Alicia, who had been experiencing a lot of transitions in her life due to death and incarceration affecting her family. When they were first matched, Little Sister Alicia and her two younger brothers were splitting time between living with their grandmother and step-grandmother. Alicia carried a lot of emotional weight and her family expected a lot out of her.

“She has become a wonderful, beautiful, hardworking, smart, funny, generous and loving young woman.”

– Big Sister Jacquelyn

“I wanted the match to be fun and exciting, a way for her to escape these responsibilities for an hour or so,” Jacquelyn says.

What they did with that hour didn’t always come easy for them. In the beginning, they had a hard time choosing what to do, so they tried everything they could imagine. Rock climbing, mini-golfing, ice skating, horseback riding. Nothing was off limits.

As time went on, instability returned to Alicia’s home life and the continuation of her match with Jacquelyn became uncertain.

“She moved several times and I had no idea where she was or how to get a hold of her,” Jacquelyn says. “I didn’t know if she wanted to continue it.”

Through those turbulent times, their Match Support Specialist worked hard to keep everyone updated and connect Alicia and Jacquelyn over the phone. After a couple months, things smoothed out at home for Alicia and the match continued with an even stronger bond.

“When we hung out during these times she kept my mind off of it,” Alicia says. “She would ask me if I wanted to talk about the things going wrong. Sometimes we did and others we did not because I didn’t feel up to it, but she was always there.”

Overcoming the moments of uncertainty brought the two even closer. Now, Alicia is set to graduate high school and credits Jacquelyn with helping her get there.

“I more than likely would have ended up in a troubled life, but she kept on being there for me and helping me find myself throughout our years together,” Alicia says. “Jacquelyn will always be that person who gave me my confidence, taught me how to have fun, and was the best sister anyone could ask for.”

When Monterro was 6, he was already reading at a fifth-grade reading level. Monterro’s mom was proud of her son’s intelligence, but as a single parent with health problems, she feared not being able to help Monterro reach his full potential. She heard about Big Brothers Big Sisters and signed Monterro up to be a Little, hoping that a Big Brother might be able to be there for Monterro in a way that she couldn’t. Her expectations were exceeded when he was matched with Big Brother Kyle.

“Because of my physical health, I am not able to do the activities I would like to with Monterro, and that is where Kyle comes in,” Monterro’s mom says. “He is able to do things and go places that I am unable to do and go.”

“I thought it would be so boring simply because I didn’t know what I would be doing. What happened in the next four years was the opposite of boring.”

– Little Brother Monterro

Big Brother Kyle and Little Brother Monterro have explored museums, visited planetariums, and learned new things, like how to play golf.

Monterro’s mom credits Kyle with helping Monterro become more confident in himself and excel in school, as the two often made visiting the library one of their outings. In the four years they have been matched, Monterro has done so well that he has skipped several grades. At age 11, he is a seventh-grader.

“Monterro is an impressionable boy and having Kyle as a positive male role model has been crucial,” Monterro’s mom says. “I am confident that their relationship has helped in Monterro being promoted so many grades in school.”

From the day they met, Kyle knew that they would form the perfect match.

“At the end of the meeting, I discovered that Monterro lives on a street in Flint named in honor of my late grandfather,” Kyle says. “I took that as a providential sign that this was the young man I was intended to have as my Little.”

Monterro, on the other hand, seemed to have missed the signs. At 7, he had his doubts.

“I thought it would be so boring simply because I didn’t know what I would be doing,” he says. “What happened in the next four years was the opposite of boring.”

One afternoon over burgers, Little Sister Alejandra shared with her Big Sister Jessica a story that changed their relationship and their entire lives. Jessica remembers her heart breaking as Alejandra revealed to her that she was experiencing a situation at home that no child should ever have to endure.

As a volunteer, Jessica was taught what to do if a child came to her with a major challenge, but she remembers mostly feeling scared for her Little Sister and angry that she was experiencing something terrible.

“It still feels surreal, six years later, but I went into autopilot in contacting Big Brothers Big Sisters,” Jessica says. “With the help of my match support specialist, steps were taken to ensure Ale’s safety.”

Alejandra is in a safe place now, partly because she was able to open up to a trusted adult, her Big Sister. Building that trust took Big Sister Jessica’s time and dedication.

“She’s super smart, kind and loving, but what I love most is that she uses strength to make me feel safe,” Alejandra says.

“Though we have become incredibly close over the last seven years, her ambition and kindheartedness never fail to surprise me as she continues to mature.”

– Big Sister Jessica

Jessica built that sense of security simply by interacting with Alejandra and offering a listening ear when she needed one. They pored over children’s books at Barnes & Noble, danced and sang in the car to their favorite songs, and gave each other nicknames. Jessica began calling Alejandra “Chickadee” for how fiercely protective she was of her.

When Alejandra disclosed what she was experiencing, Jessica knew she needed her Big Sister more than ever.

“Through it all, Ale and I talked often: sometimes about what happened, and sometimes about nothing at all,” Jessica says. “I knew that as a young girl, this could impact the rest of Ale’s life and I was determined to help her turn this situation into a positive.”

In the years since, Alejandra has had many positives. She’s now an AP and Honors student in high school with a 4.0 GPA. She spends time volunteering and was recently elected captain of her school’s color guard. Jessica has been there to offer leadership advice, encourage her to ask questions to her teachers, and remind her that she is a survivor.

“Knowing she has always been there for me no matter which way life turns has given me more confidence to try new experiences,” Alejandra says. “I push myself because I see what she has accomplished and know that no matter what happens, Jessica will make me feel worthy and loved.”

By not letting her situation define her and continuing to push herself to do more, Alejandra has proven how strong she is, Jessica says.

“This past fall, Ale became a High School Big through Big Brothers Big Sisters to mentor a child at a local elementary school,” Jessica says. “Though I have never believed in pushing Ale into a single definition of success, I was touched that she chose to follow in my footsteps.”

The following in footsteps may continue, as Alejandra plans to graduate high school and go to college, where she will study to become a family therapist or a social worker, so she can help people in need, just as her Big Sister did for her.

Big Brother Toru has great memories of his early childhood in Japan.  But when he started junior high, he says, life got a lot harder.

“I was pressured to succeed academically, and it was unbearable,” he says. “I was not a bad student, but a lost student. I wasn’t focused and I didn’t have goals.”

Toru remembers it taking a long time for him to overcome the pressure of those years. He came to America to find a new life, and when he worked as a firefighter and later a photojournalist, he was able to find mentors who showed him the way forward.

“In each job, I was blessed to have mentors who took me under their wing and guided me through the ups and downs of life and my career,” he says. “Had I had these dedicated mentors when I was younger, my childhood in Japan would have been very different.”

“I don’t know if I will ever be able to show him how much he means to me.”

– Little Brother Javi

Toru decided that he wanted to be that positive force for someone else, so he decided to become a mentor.  He signed up to be  a Big Brother, and he was matched with a 6-year-old named Javi.

Even at such a young age, Little Brother Javi was already going through a lot. His father left the family when Javi was a year old, his sister had recently been diagnosed with lung cancer, and he was struggling at school. There were so many things that Javi couldn’t control. Toru started by focusing on what Javi could control — school.

“I reminded him of the importance of doing his homework and studying, and soon his grades improved,” Toru says. “I saw the potential he had to be better than his past grades. He just needed someone to encourage him to succeed.”

Their match has only grown since. They have developed a love of for the outdoors, often spending their free time going hiking and kayaking. Javi has grown, too, going from a 6-year-old to a 6-foot-tall, 230-pound defensive lineman playing varsity football. Through it all, Toru continues to be one of Javi’s strongest supporters in all areas of his life.

“I remember one time, he came to one of my football games and I was not doing too great in the first quarter,” Javi says. “Then, I looked up and saw him and my mom watching and cheering me on. I’m pretty sure that game ended up being one of my best.”

With Javi now 16 and right around the age when the pressure of Toru’s adolescence became overwhelming, Big Brother Toru is committed to continuing to providing his support, not applying pressure, so he can succeed.

At the beginning of Boshanna’s senior year, her best friend and her brother were involved in an incident that resulted in their arrest. It hit Boshanna hard. Big Sister Karen remembers it being one of Boshanna’s lowest points.

“Boshanna was devastated and depressed,” she says. “She stopped going to school.”

For four months, Boshanna didn’t attend school. Even when she faced truancy court, her dedicated Big Sister never lost faith in her. They talked about it, and Big Sister Karen let Boshanna know she was disappointed and that she felt graduating high school was crucial.

“I feel she believes in me a little more than others.”

– Little Sister Boshanna

Eventually, Boshanna decided to return to school and finish out the school year. She credits Karen for helping her turn things around.

“I would have dropped out of school if it were not for Karen,” she says.

Big Sister Karen has been there for Boshanna since they shared their first match meeting at a McDonald’s.

“She was a quiet 9-year-old,” Karen says. “I was nervous, excited, and hopeful.”

Boshanna was growing up in a home affected by depression and substance abuse. Her grandmother enrolled her as a Little Sister to bring a little more stability to her life.

Their connection wasn’t always strong. In the beginning, Big Sister Karen says, she couldn’t get a read on Boshanna.

“I often left our visits wondering if she was enjoying our time, looking for reassurance, unsure if I was doing any good,” Karen says.

Karen remained consistent. She tried to show Boshanna she cared about her and wasn’t going anywhere. She delivered balloons to her school on her birthday, helped her shop for school supplies, and listened to her when she needed an outlet to talk about her family.

Over time, their connection solidified and they began scrapbooking all their adventures. Before they knew it, that scrapbook was overflowing.

“We have been paired for eight wonderful years,” Boshanna says. “I enjoyed every bit of it.”

Since her return to school, Boshanna has been exceling in the classroom, and she has resolved to succeed in all aspects of her life. She recently got a job at McDonald’s, the place she first met Big Sister Karen.

She quickly mastered every station at the restaurant. Many teenagers might spend their first paycheck to go out with friends, buy new clothes, or save for a car. Boshanna had something else to buy first: her cap and gown.

Gavin used to lie in bed, crying, because his dad showed no interest in being part of his life. Dealing with the pain of that crowded out everything else. He started struggling with his grades and getting in trouble at school. Gavin’s mom was worried about her son.

She turned to Big Brothers Big Sisters for help, and Gavin was matched with Big Brother Nick.

Their first match meeting took place one evening at a McDonald’s. Gavin arrived first and anxiously waited for Nick to get there. When Nick walked through the doors, Gavin beamed.

“I’ll never forget his curious eyes and smiling face that first evening,” Nick says.

The two hit it off right away and quickly began making memories. Nick took Little Brother Gavin to explore the flooded Wichita River, and to experience his first Texas Rangers game.

“We were so lucky to be matched with someone that genuinely cares about making Gavin a better person.”

– Little Brother Gavin’s mom

Over time, they built trust in their relationship, and Gavin’s mom began to see signs of progress in Gavin’s focus and behavior. But change doesn’t happen overnight, even when you have a Big brother.

When Gavin was pulled out of class for misbehaving, Nick took off work and drove 20 miles to go to his school to talk to him. Gavin’s mom says that moment was a defining one for their match.

“He talked about his personal experiences as a child and things Gavin could have done to avoid trouble,” she says. “He also let Gavin know that no matter what, he wasn’t giving up on him.”

Now, even when Gavin is in trouble, he knows he has someone who will take time to listen him and still want to be in his life.

“I can always talk to him about anything,” Gavin says. “I know he listens even when I’m sad or angry.”

At the beginning, Nick set out to accomplish two sets of goals for his match with his Little Brother. The first were short-term goals mainly focused on improving Gavin’s behavior in class. Nick says he is making strides toward that one. The second set of goals are long-term and a little loftier.

“Because of his relationship with his own father, my long-term goals revolve around me showing him what it takes to be a good man, a good father, and a good husband,” Nick says.

Nick knows his goals are ambitious, so he has relied on Big Brothers Big Sisters staff for support and guidance throughout the match. He knows they are always a phone call away.

Gavin’s mom has already began to notice a difference in her son.

“Since he has had Nick in his life, Gavin rarely talks and never cries about his dad,” she says. “Having a male person in his life that really ‘listens’ to Gavin has resulted in better self-confidence, better grades and improved behavior.”

By the looks of it, Nick is one his way to reaching his goals, with Gavin benefiting the most.

Hidden beneath Sophie’s shy demeanor was an artist who just needed help being brought to the surface. Sophie’s Big Sister, Lynne, helped her chip away her shyness and find her self-confidence.

When Big Sister Lynne and Little Sister Sophie were first matched through Big Brothers Big Sisters, they met in the school library for an hour each week. Lynne tried talking to Sophie about music, family, friends, school, hobbies, food, and movies, but Sophie would only give short, polite responses. It wasn’t until they started talking about books that Sophie became animated. She recommended books to Lynne, and Sophie was impressed by how seriously her Big Sister took the recommendations.

“I remember being surprised whenever she’d come back the next week having actually read them and even took notes on things to talk about with me,” Sophie says. “I loved talking about them and the genuine interest she showed towards them was very important to me.”

“I got the greatest Little Sister, and I get the privilege of watching her grow into an amazing young woman.”

– Big Sister Lynne

Exploring literature in the library allowed Big Sister Lynne and Little Sister Sophie to build trust. Eventually, they wanted to be able to do activities outside the school, so they transitioned to being a community-based match and continued to build on their strong foundation. Lynne was excited to explore new things with Sophie, but she found that Sophie didn’t enjoy shopping, outdoor activities, or swimming, all things Lynne loved. Lynne admits that they weren’t “a match made in heaven,” but says there was something special about her Little Sister.

“There was something deep in Sophie that I respected and was drawn to: her strength, her maturity, and surprisingly enough because she was so shy, her very clear sense of herself,” Lynne says. “I was mesmerized.”

As the two continued to explore possible interests for Sophie, Lynne discovered that Sophie had a talent for art. They began attending an eclectic local art center with galleries and art classes. They became weekly visitors, where Sophie had private lessons with student interns. Whether using pencil, crayon, clay, acrylic, water color, block printing, Sophie had a knack for art. The Director of Education at the center awarded her the title “Student Fellow” to recognize her love for and dedication to art.

“She painted a ghost ship from ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ as her student project, and it was hung in the gallery along with her ‘Student Fellow’ award,” Lynne says. “I was so proud of her.”

The artist was surfacing in Sophie, and Lynne wanted to help Sophie continue uncovering her talent and striving to reach her potential. When Sophie began preparing for high school, Lynne looked into a private school with a great art program. The tuition was steep, so Lynne worked with the school, Sophie’s guardians, and Big Brothers Big Sisters to help bring the tuition down significantly, and she created fundraisers to enable the community around Sophie to help her cover the tuition. Everyone in Sophie’s life pulled together to make her dream a reality.

“This school has allowed me to meet some truly amazing people,” Sophie says. “Not only has she helped me immensely these past couple of years, she’s proven to be an amazing friend.”

The once-shy Sophie has changed so much since she first met Big Sister Lynne. She now creates costumes and works on the sets of her school productions, including Cirque de Soleil and The Wizard of Oz. She creates beautiful things, but the best work of all may be who she’s becoming, in part thanks to her Big Sister.

The first time Little Brother Michael met his Big Brother, as soon as he got off the bus, he asked him a question. “Exactly how old are you?”

Geoffrey was 54 at the time. “How old do you think I am?” he asked.

Michael guessed 40.

“He instantly became my best friend,” Big Brother Geoffrey says.

For the past three years, the two have not only been best friends, but also animal tamers, race car drivers, and brave explorers. Some of Michael’s favorite memories with Geoffrey have been the time they held a boa constrictor at his school, raced go-karts at Mel’s Funway Park, and rode the mile-long haunted hayride at Spooky World.

“It has opened my world and changed my life for the better.”

– Big Brother Geoffrey

“It has been an amazing journey so far,” Little Brother Michael says.

Michael’s grandparents enrolled him in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program because they wanted to make sure he was growing up with a good male role model and plenty of opportunities to grow.

“Geoffrey does a lot with Michael that we are not able to do,” his grandma says. “They have had so many adventures with so many more to come.”

Geoffrey knows that they can have fun adventures, but he’s also started helping Michael in school through their outings. When Michael was struggling with reading comprehension, Geoffrey got him a murder-mystery book that took place in a zoo. He made a deal with Michael.

“I promised him that if he read the entire book over the summer and could answer a few questions about the story, I would take him for a day to Franklin Park Zoo in Boston,” Geoffrey says.

With another adventure on the line, Michael began reading “Belly Up” and realized he was actually enjoying it. Throughout their outings that summer, he updated Geoffrey on how many pages he’d read, and when he turned the final page, he immediately called Geoffrey to announce he had finished.

“The result was a beautiful day at the zoo where he got to ride a camel, play with the goats in the petting zoo, and enjoy the variety of wild animals,” Geoffrey says. “It really was a terrific day celebrating his accomplishment.”

With their love for adventure and Big Brother Geoffrey’s commitment to Little Brother Michael’s success, they can expect to celebrate many more accomplishments in the future.