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When Little Sister America wanted to dye her hair a bright aquamarine, her Big Sister Laura brought her to a trusted friend’s hair salon. When America wanted a piercing, her Big Sister Laura made sure the piercer was licensed and reputable. “She has never judged me when I wanted something that some people would think was crazy,” America says. “She always listens to what I want, encourages me to communicate with my mother, and helps me understand all of the pros and cons.”

Big Sister Laura sees that as her role: actively listening to what America wants, and carefully encouraging her empowerment and safety.

When they were first matched, Big Sister Laura learned that America was already dealing with some big challenges at home. Because of her father’s deportation to Mexico, America was raised by a single mom. The two shared a room in their tiny apartment. Her mother enrolled America in Big Brothers Big Sisters because she knew she needed a positive role model.

“America was about to enter her teenage years, and a lot of changes were about to happen,” America’s mom says. “I work a lot, so I was worried about how much time America would have to spend alone. I just wanted someone to be there for her.”

“I can tell her anything that’s going on and can always count on her to be there for me when I need help.”

– Little Sister America

Laura was that someone. In the six years they have been matched, Laura and America have worked toward many of America’s goals together.  “There were three things America wanted most when she was 11 – go to a WWE wrestling match, have a dog, and help children in Africa,” Laura says.

So, Laura took her to watch wrestling. She didn’t surprise America with a puppy, but she did foster America’s compassion for animals on their outings by collecting and delivering toys to a dog rescue center and volunteering at adoption events. As America grew older, her goals shifted. She hasn’t made it to Africa yet, but she does fully embrace her philanthropic spirit.

“America is paying it forward locally by volunteering her time through the Big Brothers Big Sisters High School Bigs program,” Laura says. She also volunteers at a memory care facility, helping elderly folks with their day-to-day needs. “To say America is altruistic is an understatement.”

Laura also has an altruistic streak, which extends beyond volunteering as a Big Sister. When America talked to her about the importance of a quinceañera, a celebration of a girl’s 15^th birthday, Big Sister Laura scoured eBay for a quinceañera dress, arranged for Little Sister America to have her hair and makeup professionally done, and found a photographer to take photos of America and her mom for her birthday. It was a moment that allowed America, her mom, and her Big Sister to bond together as family.

Throughout high school, America kept a part-time job, racked up community service hours, and planned for her own future. The hard work paid off as this past June, when Little Sister America became the first person in her family to walk across the stage and graduate from high school. Her Big Sister Laura was, of course, in the crowd.

Big Brother Todd and Little Brother Tyrone, “T.J.,” were matched when T.J. was 7. At the time, T.J. was quiet and shy, and his mom worried about him growing up without a father. She was particularly concerned about his lack of interest in school. “Before Todd, it was hard for me to keep my son motivated,” T.J.’s mom says.

Big Brother Todd and Little Brother T.J. spent most Saturdays hanging for a few hours for one-on-one and family time. They often had breakfast with Todd’s parents or T.J.’s family, and then ran errands or did chores for Todd’s mom and dad, who T.J. calls “Mom No. 2” and “Dad No. 2.” After they spent time helping out, they would do something fun together. They both say that their relationship has been life-changing.

“I hope the impact I have had on TJ is as great as his impact on me.”

– Big Brother Todd

“Being a Big in Big Brothers Big Sisters doesn’t just have an impact on my Little, it has an impact on me,” Big Brother Todd says. “I have someone who makes me look at things in a different way.” From T.J., Todd has learned to be patient. He has learned not to jump to conclusions about someone before you get to know them. He has learned that it’s good to be curious and ask questions.

Spending time with Todd has helped T.J. focus and see the importance of education. Todd has encouraged him to express himself and embrace his personality. “Before I met Todd, I didn’t really think about my future. I was not sure if I really liked school,” he says. Now, he says he wants to concentrate on school so he can grow up to be a good man, like his Big Brother. He makes the honor roll every quarter. “I was relieved after Todd came into his life because now I know that Tyrone will stay in school, graduate, and go off to college,” T.J.’s mom says.

Now 13, Little Brother T.J. is nearly as tall as his Big Brother. They often joke about it. “Someday, my ‘Big’ will be looking up to me!” T.J. says.

Little does he know, his Big already does.

Growing up in Chicago, Aaqila was used to city life. She was used to her school and to the diversity of a city. She was used to being her mother’s only child.

When Aaqila was in first grade, everything changed. Her mother moved her from Chicago to Springfield. She changed schools. She was surrounded by fewer kids who looked like her. Not long after their move, Aaqila’s mom told her that she was no longer going to be an only child – a little sister was on the way.

“We didn’t have family in Springfield, and I knew that the new baby would take away a lot of attention from Aaqila,” Aaqila’s mom says. “This would also be another major change to her life. So to lessen the impact, and find someone who could give her that undivided attention when I couldn’t, I contacted Big Brothers Big Sisters.”

“I want her to remember me always telling her to dream BIG and to know that I’m always here for her, to encourage her, protect her, and push her.”

– Big Sister Sophie

When she was 9, Aaqila was matched with Big Sister Sophie, who was outgoing, energetic, and silly. Little Sister Aaqila was shy and nervous, but the two eventually built trust and bonded. “As a kid from Chicago, if I wouldn’t have met Sophie, there are many things I never would have gotten to do,” Aaqila says. “Things like fishing, camping, and riding horses were really cool and new to me.”

Before being matched with Sophie, Aaqila struggled in her new school. She was one of only a handful of Black children, and she was bullied. The curriculum was different, and she often felt isolated. “As a result, she was held back and had to repeat the first grade,” Aaqila’s mom says. “The school diagnosed her with a learning disability and placed her in ‘special’ classes.”

Big Sister Sophie helped Aaqila adjust. She encouraged her to open up and to set goals for her future. By middle school, she was ready to re-enter general education classes, and she began to excel. When Aaqila was in high school, Sophie helped her learn about careers and apply for scholarships. Sophie brought Aaqila to a friend’s dental practice for a shadowing opportunity. “Because of that experience, I am planning to go to school in the fall to become a dental hygienist,” Aaqila says.

Now, Aaqila has gotten used to her new life in Springfield. She is used to her silly, fun Big Sister being there for her. She’s used to Sophie attending her basketball games and helping her talk through problems. And now that Aaqila has started college, her Big Sister Sophie is once again reprising her role of helping her Little Sister adjust to a new school.

Every Friday night for years, Big Brother John sat on a bleacher, cheering on his Little Brother Leondre. John never missed one of Leondre’s football games, and supported him off the field as well. He even joined Leondre’s school’s “Quarterback Club,” which is designed for players’ dads.

“Leondre grew up without his father, as did I,” John says. “I grew up poor in a home without a father or any prominent male figure to help me navigate the path to manhood. I wanted to give Leondre that much needed, positive male figure.”

A positive male figure was exactly what Little Brother Leondre’s mom was looking for when she signed him up to be a Little. “I was worried about raising him by myself. As a woman, I knew I could raise Leondre to be a good person,” she says. “I didn’t know how to teach him to be a good man.”

“When you look into the eyes of a young boy and tell him that you are going to do something, you have to follow through.”

– Big Brother John

Leondre says that their similar upbringings allowed him to trust John. He was instantly able to see him as a role model for his behavior and ambitions. “John and I grew up exactly alike,” Leondre says.  They both grew up without a father, raised by single mom, and often caring for younger brothers and sisters. The challenges John faced were more than circumstances to overcome—they helped him become a loving, ambitious person, Leondre says, and he looks up to him for that.

When Leondre was first matched with John, more than eight years ago, he was struggling at school and was a C student. Big Brother John encouraged him to take school more seriously and impressed upon him that he needed to not only pursue athletic achievement but also academic competence and educational goals. “He has motivated me to attend college and get an education and have a positive future and help my family,” Leondre says.

According to Big Brother John, Leondre has grown to be a role model for other students in the classroom and other players on the field. Leondre even says one day he would like to “pay it forward” by becoming a Big Brother himself.

Now, Leondre is in his second semester of college at Walsh University in North Canton, Ohio. He is going to school on an athletic scholarship, hoping to become a social worker. He is still in contact with his Big Brother, John. “He asked me if I would still be his Big Brother once he graduated high school,” John recalls. “I replied, ‘Yes! I want to be there during your college years and…see you graduate college. I want to talk to you about your girlfriends, your wife, your kids. I will always be here for you.’”

Generation to Generation
In partnership with Encore.org and Generation to Generation, we are working on recruiting new Bigs across the nation. Generation to Generation is a campaign that believes in the power of connecting older adults to kids who need their support. For more stories about mentors over 50, or to pledge to get involved as a mentor yourself, visit generationtogeneration.org.

Growing up an only child of a single mom can be lonely, so Little Brother Evan was more than ready for camaraderie and adventure when he was matched with Big Brother Nick, then an MIT student, nine years ago. “Nick and I play sports together sometimes, and he inspires me to work hard to be like him,” Evan says. Through hockey, Nick showed Evan how to be a good teammate, be confident, and challenge himself.

When Little Brother Evan and Big Brother Nick were first matched, Nick was attending MIT and playing on the MIT hockey team. Little Brother Evan and his single mom became Nick’s biggest fans. They attended every home game and most away games. Evan became an extension of the team. He assisted with the scoreboard, volunteered to take down the rink at the end of the season, and even skated with the team during practice.

“He inspires me to work hard to be like him,” Nick says. After playing for six years, mostly with Nick and his friends, Evan tried out for his high school hockey team and became a varsity hockey player.

As an only child of a single mom, Evan has had a limited support system. He and his mom are close, but being a family of two is not always easy. “For any child who represents exactly half of the family unit, there is for the child an imperceptible and constant sense of vulnerability and unease. It’s the feeling of being almost alone in the world, or one adult away from having to fend for oneself,” Evan’s mom says. “Nick, by being a stable and consistent part of Evan’s life, has calmed this sense of vulnerability.”

“While teaching Evan, I have become a more confident, patient, and empathetic man. When the time comes, I know the experience will make me a better father.”

– Big Brother Nick

Throughout his childhood, Evan lacked self-confidence and struggled to make friends. Diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and a language disability, Evan was often frustrated with himself and uncomfortable in social situations. Nick says that for a couple of years, Evan would repeat the same phrases again and again, phrases that didn’t fit with the context of the conversation. “These are known as verbal tics, which are a hallmark of Tourette’s Syndrome,” Nick says. “Later, he would frequently say ‘I wish I didn’t have a learning disability’ or ‘I wish I wasn’t born like this.’”

Playing hockey has helped Evan both with his self-confidence and with his ability to make friends, and Nick has been there to support him. “I encouraged him to fight through these struggles, to embrace who he is, and to focus on what he can control,” Nick says.  He also found stories about successful people who had persevered through similar adversity and used these to try to inspire Evan. “Nick makes me feel good about myself,” Evan says.

Now, Evan is an honors student in high school. He is diligent about his schoolwork and committed to achieving his goals. And he has learned coping skills and self-acceptance from his mom and Big Brother. “I have not heard him repeat the verbal tics or complain about his learning disabilities in over a year now,” Nick says.

Just by stepping up to become a Big Brother, Nick doubled the number of important adults in Evan’s life. But he did even more than that for Evan, Evan’s mom says. “Nick, through introducing Evan to his larger group of friends, provided many good role models for Evan – men and women who were undeterred by hard work, who excelled at school and athletics, and who longed to change the world for the better. So it wasn’t just Nick modeling this behavior, but Nick’s large group of friends, too, whom Evan got to know,” Evan’s mom says. “All of them illustrating for Evan what is possible in life when you are determined and focused and committed.”

Editor’s note: BBBSA received permission from the family to name Evan’s diagnoses in this story.

Little Sister Trina and her two brothers were adopted when Trina was 3. She had been in and out of foster care for her whole life. She was quiet and withdrawn.

Three years after her adoption, Trina’s mom brought her to Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Oregon so Trina could be matched with a Big Sister.

“We were unsure of getting a Big for her, as we didn’t know if they would stay committed to Trina,” her mom says. “Knowing her pain of being tossed back and forth between birth mom and stranger, she needed a stable and loving Big.”

Big Sister Katy was matched with Little Sister Trina, who was 6 at the time. “The first time I saw Katy was at Baskin-Robbins 31 Flavors,” Trina says. “I’m pretty sure I got chocolate chip mint.”

“Being Trina’s Big Sister has been a privilege. I hope to encourage Trina to do good things and push her to do better with the opportunities in her life. I know she does the same for me, without even knowing it.”

– Big Sister Katy

Katy had considered becoming a Big for a long time before she officially volunteered. She served on the Board of BBBS of Central Oregon and thought about what it would be like to mentor a child herself. She held off because she was nervous. She asked herself dozens of anxious questions. “Was I good enough? How could I change a life? What could I offer a Little Sister? Did I have the time? Would she like me?”

When she met Trina for the first time at that ice cream shop, though, those questions disappeared. “I realized I didn’t need the answers to all those questions,” Katy says. “Rather, I made a commitment to focus my energy on helping someone else in whatever way I could, to be present for her.”

In the past four years, Little Sister Trina and Big Sister Katy have spent countless hours baking cookies, doing crafts, walking Katy’s dog, reading, and talking. Being able to open up to Katy has helped Trina gain self-confidence. “Trina was shy and reserved over the first part of our match, very different from her outgoing, spunky self today,” Katy says. “Over time I’ve seen her open up, talk to strangers, order her own dinner at a restaurant, try new activities she wouldn’t [try] before, even begin to like school more.”

When Little Sister Trina talks about Katy, it’s clear that she values her Big Sister’s consistency as much as her foster mom does. “Katy is so amazing because she doesn’t ever give up on being my Big Sister even though she is so busy and works so much,” she says. “I want her to be my Big Sister as long as I can have her. As long as I know her.”

When Little Sister Parasia was 7, she was standing in her family’s living room when she was narrowly missed by something coming through the wall – a stray bullet. “She still talks about how scared she was that day,” Big Sister Michelle says.

A member of Parasia’s immediate family was incarcerated for gang activity, and there was no way for her life to avoid being touched by violence. Little Sister Parasia’s mom realized the odds were against her daughter.

She knew Parasia was seeing some scary things in her neighborhood and that she would need help making sure her daughter beat the odds. She enrolled Parasia as a Little Sister with Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Midlands seven years ago. “As a young single mother of four children, it was difficult for me to have one-on-one time with each of my children,” she says.

At the same time, Little Sister Parasia’s mom was realizing she needed a Big for her daughter, Big Sister Michelle was realizing she needed a way to connect to her community and give back. She had served on committees and hosted fundraisers, but something was still missing. “My work didn’t feel personal,” she says. “It felt disconnected from the people and causes I most wanted to help.”

“Every time someone asks me who she is, I say with confidence and pride, ‘That’s my sister.’”

– Little Sister Parasia

To connect with Parasia, Michelle has taken her to do fun things, like going horseback riding, seeing the “Bodies” exhibit at an Omaha museum, and going out for ice cream on a cold, snowy day, and also to do service projects, like working in food pantries. “We build a friendship and love forged on fun and service that carried us through the difficult times,” Michelle says.

About four years ago, Parasia’s family was in the process of buying a Habitat for Humanity home. When Parasia’s family was away, the house they were renting caught on fire. They lost everything, including their family dog.

Michelle stepped up. “She did so much for us when our house caught fire and fell down,” Parasia says.

For helping Parasia’s family and for her service as a Habitat volunteer, Habitat for Humanity of Omaha named her their 2015 Power Woman of the Year. “Michelle was the ringleader in helping coordinate all of the many donations to help my family start over,” Parasia’s mom says.

Through those tough times after the fire and during Parasia’s transition to adolescence, Big Sister Michelle stayed committed to their match. “She has, at times, like any teenager, been moody, unresponsive, and stubborn. She has had failing grades and has gotten into trouble at school.” To get through those times, Michelle says she worked as a team with Parasia’s mom to support and guide Parasia.

Now, Little Sister Parasia is a thriving high school student. “Her grades are B’s and above, she has a good relationship with her teachers, and she truly understands the importance of her education and of staying out of trouble,” Michelle says. “College is her goal.”

As a football coach, Big Brother Tohib saw that boys truly need positive adult role models. Growing up, he had caring parents who pushed him to reach his potential. “They never settled for ‘good,’” he says. “I always had to work harder.” With his parents’ encouragement, Tohib went to school for finance and earned his Master’s degree. He wanted to give back and help kids who might not have such positive adults in their lives, so he became a Big Brother. He was matched with Little Brother Makhari.

Makhari’s mom wanted to enroll her son as a Little Brother because he needed a role model. “He needed a stable man in his life. Makhari has a relationship with his dad, but due to substance abuse problems, his father is in and out of his life. It has never been stable,” she says. Tohib has been consistent and committed throughout their relationship, calling to check on Makhari in between visits. Makhari says he acts differently because he knows Tohib cares about his grades and his behavior. “I have someone who is looking at the things I am doing and making sure I do the right thing so I can be a good man when I grow up,” Makhari says.

Matched for more than eight years, Tohib and Makhari connected right away. They went to Patriots games and Red Sox games with tickets from Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Ocean State, and they bonded over sports.

After spending some time with his Little Brother, Big Brother Tohib noticed that he had never learned any money skills. As an accountant, he knew he could teach Little Brother Makhari about the value of a dollar. They started by opening up a bank account for Makhari. “We talked about deposits, withdrawals, keeping a ledger, and saving money,” Tohib says. “It is Makhari’s money in his account. When he earns money, I take him to the bank to deposit it. We talk about interest and how the money can grow if he keeps it in there.”

“I know I cannot slack on my schoolwork because Tohib is going to check in on me.”
– Little Brother Makhari

Their relationship has lasted eight years, but it has not been without its challenges. At one point, Makhari started hanging out with friends who were skipping school. He stopped focusing on homework, and started avoiding Tohib. Tohib tried to help, and ended up frustrated. They took a few months off from scheduling outings together.

Makhari’s school attendance and grades got worse. His mom asked BBBSOS to try to get the relationship back on track. “When our current Match Support Specialist called and asked if I could start seeing Makhari again, I was hesitant,” Tohib says. “Our Match Support Specialist, Heather, told me that she had talked to Makhari and he was ready to make a commitment to our match again. Since then, the match has been going great.”

Last October, the match participated in a walkathon, a fundraiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters. Tohib challenged Makhari to run with him the whole way. “There were a few times when I thought I was going to fall down. Tohib was encouraging the entire time,” Makhari says. “He told me we could go as fast or slow as I wanted. He said if I needed a break, we would take one. He wanted to encourage me but not let me quit. We finished the race running.”

Their relationship is like that walkathon. Makhari says when they took a break and recommitted to their match, he learned that his Big Brother would not give up on him. “Even when I wanted to give up for a while, he did not. We came back together and are even closer now.”

President Obama has issued a proclamation designating January National Mentoring Month.  In the proclamation, he emphasized that mentoring a young person does more than help that one young person; he says mentoring has effects that ripple through communities and strengthen our whole country.

“As a Nation, we are stronger when every individual has the opportunity to contribute to our American story. By working to give each person a better chance at success, we can unlock their potential and empower them to serve others in the same way.”

To read the full Presidential Proclamation, click here.

National Mentoring Month Key Dates:

January 12, 2017 – I Am A Mentor Day

January 16, 2017 – Martin Luther King, Jr. Day of Service

January 17, 2017 – International Mentoring Day

January 19, 2017 – #ThankYourMentor Day

Meet Markees. He’s a former Little from Los Angeles who snagged his first movie role at 15 and became a star at this year’s Sundance Film Festival.

Little Brother Markees stars in “Morris from America,” which won awards for acting and screenwriting at this year’s Sundance Film Festival.

When Markees was in sixth grade, he went through a tough time academically. For extra credit, he took a role in the school play. His Big Brother, Matt, saw a stage presence that needed to be nurtured, so they created videos that showed off Markees’ charm and playfulness. They posted them to YouTube, and those videos caught the attention of writer/director Chad Hartigan.

Now, Little Brother Markees, 17, is considering acting as his career. He loved being on set and watching the crew work hard to produce the film.

So what started as a silly video project with his Big Brother might now be his life’s work. “I didn’t even plan on putting it out,” said Big Brother Matt, a professor of economics who also does some comedy work. “It was just going to be for us and friends, but it turned out so good.”

Movie trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8HY-6F4Y_I