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January 1 is not only the start of the New Year, it is also the start of National Mentoring Month, when organizations around the country honor mentors and bring awareness to mentoring. Thank Your Mentor Day is January 19, and mentees and former mentees are encouraged to reach out personally or to take to social media to thank their mentors for the influence they have had on their lives. Recently, former Little Brother Mike reached out to Big Brothers Big Sisters of America to thank his mentor, Big Brother Doug.

In 1973, Little Brother Mike was 11. He describes himself at that time as having long, stringy, “hippie” hair, and almost no adult supervision. His parents were divorced, and his mom was working hard as a nurse to provide for all five of her kids. Left on their own much of the time, Mike and his siblings skipped school and found mischief around every corner of their Cleveland Heights neighborhood.

“We smoked cigarettes and drank beer or wine,” Mike says. “We were turning into little criminals – terrorizing the neighborhood.” Mike’s mom knew her boys needed an adult role model, so she signed up Mike and his twin brother, Mark, to be Little Brothers through Big Brothers of Greater Cleveland.

Mike was matched with Big Brother Doug, a lawyer. Doug had volunteered to become a Big Brother after talking with a friend. They reflected on how lucky they had been to enjoy good education, stable families, and safe, happy childhoods. “One of us said to the other, ‘why don’t we see if we can do something to help somebody else out?’” Doug says. They became Big Brothers to twins Mike and Mark.

“I remember vividly walking into his house in Cleveland Heights,” Doug says. He saw Mike, Mark, their siblings and friends staring at a television screen that was flashing a test pattern. “Let’s get out of here,” Doug remembers saying. “Let’s do something.”

In the two years they were matched, they went to ball games, had dinner together, and talked about life. Their match ended when Mike’s mom moved the family from Ohio to Pueblo, Colorado, but the effect of the match lasted much longer in Mike’s life. “Once I started high school, something in my brain just clicked into place,” Mike says. “The lessons and advice I learned from Doug followed me to Pueblo. His example as my role model and his continued support through letters helped me mature and realize I was worth something, and that I should make something out of my life.”

From then on, Mike focused on school. He sought out positive after-school activities and graduated high school with plans to go to college. He majored in chemistry, earned his MBA, and climbed the corporate ladder. He married his high school sweetheart. They have a son who is now 17 and in the midst of the college application process. Mike says none of his story would be the same if he hadn’t had a Big Brother.

Mike attributes his son’s success to Doug as well. As a child who grew up with limited guidance and attention, seeing Doug with his family gave Mike a model he could strive for. “The example of a stable family helped,” Mike says. “I knew that was something I wanted one day.”

Doug is proud of both Mike and his son. They still see each other occasionally, when Mike visits Ohio. Doug says his Little Brother and the friendship they built over more than 40 years has given him more than he gave as a volunteer. Mike insists Doug changed his life for the better, forever.

“I’ve told Doug how much I attribute my success in life back to what he did for me as a Big Brother, but he always tells me the same thing – he says I did it on my own,” Mike says. “He’s very humble and wants me to claim the credit, but I already know the truth. I did not get here on my own. None of us ever do.”

This January, many of us will try our best to hit the gym, take more walks, or pull the bike out of the garage to get fit and make good on our resolutions. Your workout will do even more good this year when you join Big Brothers Big Sisters’ Great Big Challenge.

Great Big Challenge is a fun, month-long fitness and fundraising event and supporting Big Brothers Big Sisters this National Mentoring Month. Participants will choose a fitness goal and a fundraising goal that work for them, and get fit while helping make sure more children get matched with caring adult volunteers in the new year.

One of the top Great Big Challenge fundraisers so far, a Big Brother named Phil, says his motivation is his relationship with his Little, Avril. “We’ve spent a lot of time together biking, hiking, wall-climbing, going to baseball/football games – generally hanging out.   This month we are working together to get Avril his first job (his choice).  As a Big it is very rewarding,” Big Brother Phil says. Now, Phil wants to get back into working out. While working on that resolution, he is also spreading the word about Big Brothers Big Sisters and raising money to make sure more Littles like Avril have a Big who will make a difference for them.

Register today at GreatBigChallenge.com, choose your physical challenge — walking, biking, practicing yoga, swimming — any fitness goal that you want to achieve — and your fundraising goal, and get started on your resolutions to get fit and do good.

www.GreatBigChallenge.com

Taniah’s single mom was going to school, working full time, and raising her three kids. She knew her children needed more adult role models, so she enrolled all three as Littles at BBBS Services, Inc. in North Carolina.

Big Sister Angie was dealing with a sort of homesickness. She felt like something was missing in her life because she wasn’t giving back. “People can usually fulfill that need by giving to their family members,” she says. “However, as a first-generation immigrant and with the rest of my family in China, I didn’t have that luxury.” She tried other volunteer opportunities in her community, but nothing allowed her to genuinely connect with the people she was helping.

When Angie participated in a community service project through her job, she met Taniah. They felt instantly connected. They became Little Sister Taniah and Big Sister Angie after that, and have been matched for nearly four years now. Taniah says Angie is the perfect Big Sister for her. “I love that my Big is unique and can always make me laugh,” Taniah says. “I am pretty sure she can stand in a crowd of 100,000 people and I’ll know exactly who and where she is because of how unique she is.”

“I admire Angie because she takes the time out of her day to help with my homework and introduce me to new things.”
– Little Sister Taniah

Big Sister Angie and Little Sister Taniah have played countless games, run in the 5K Color Run, put on fashion shows, and danced to every kind of music. Angie also makes sure Taniah has the opportunity to explore what she might want to study in college, and what kind of career she might want to have as an adult.

Angie has also allowed Taniah to visit her job and see what she does every day. “Opportunities like that show Taniah that she can be successful,” Taniah’s mom says. Not only does Angie sometimes tutor Taniah, she also communicates with Taniah’s teachers, attends Taniah’s school concerts, and teaches her about where her family lives in China. Taniah is excited to learn about the culture of where Angie is from. “Angie has introduced me to her culture by teaching me how to speak Mandarin,” Taniah says.

Through the years, Taniah has struggled with self-confidence and academics, especially math. Big Sister Angie has helped her work on both. “One thing that I admire is Angie’s devotion to Taniah’s education,” Taniah’s mom says. With Taniah’s end-of-grade exam in math coming up, Angie and Taniah took a break from the fun activities they enjoy doing together to focus on math. Angie worried because Taniah was having such a hard time mastering the material. “Fortunately, neither of us gave up,” she says. “The few weeks leading to the exam, we didn’t play at all and spent all our time working on prep questions. The hard work paid off. Taniah got a B! I know it’s not an A, but for us it felt like A+!”

When Al met his Little Brother, McKee was a bubbly, fun 8-year-old whose enthusiasm was infectious. His life was just taking shape, and he had plenty of obstacles to overcome and no consistent male role models. “So much has changed, yet so much remains the same,” Al says. “We still enjoy similar tastes in music. We still like to be silly—singing and dancing in the car. If our singing and dancing can annoy my boys, then it is even more rewarding.”

McKee is always up for new activities, Al says. “His willingness to engage in virtually any outing spoke volumes to me—it didn’t matter what we did, as long as we were together,” Al says. “Having someone else value your presence validates us as individuals.” They have gone on paddleboat adventures, visited museums, played mini-golf, and gone bowling.

Big Brother Al has also been a role model for McKee and a resource for McKee’s mom. She knows that when she is struggling with something related to McKee, she can call Al any time. She says there could be no better Big Brother for her son than Al.  “McKee cares what Al thinks of him, and does not want him to be disappointed in him,” McKee’s mom says.

“After 10 years, Al is not only McKee’s Big Brother, but he is an important part of our lives and we are part of his life.” -Little Brother McKee’s mom

Al has taken McKee to his workplace for Take Our Daughters And Sons To Work Day, where he not only got to see what Al does every day but also got to experiment with his company’s 3D printer. For the past 10 years, Al has modeled what it is to be a stable adult.

When Big Brother Al reflects on their match, it’s clear he knows the effects haven’t been one-sided. He says his relationship with McKee has helped him chart a course for him as a father and that being involved with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Eastern Missouri has shown him that he can dedicate himself to improving the lives of others. “McKee has changed my life perhaps as much as I have changed his,” Al says.

Little Brother McKee is 18 now, and he hopes to be a video game designer. When Big Brother Al first heard that, he arranged for McKee to talk with a friend who works in the video game industry. They discussed what classes McKee should take in college and what skills he would need to develop.  Little Brother McKee credits Al for his stability and success. “Al has been there through all of my ups and downs. He’s made me the man I am today,” McKee says. “I just can’t thank him enough for what he has done for me.”

 

 

Little Sister Kelly has not had an easy childhood. Fleeing domestic violence, her mother moved a 3-year-old Kelly and her younger brother into a shelter. Years later, Kelly ended up in foster care temporarily, after she was abused by a family friend.

When Kelly first landed in foster care, her foster mother felt overwhelmed. Kelly had already been matched with Amanda for a year at that point, and her foster mom says Amanda helped a lot during the transition. “There were so many needs, questions, and support that I needed that Amanda met and answered, because she was already active in Kelly’s life,” her foster mom says.

Big Sister Amanda boosted Kelly’s confidence, took her on outings that allowed her to be silly and joyful, and reassured her that she was strong enough to deal with what life threw at her.

“She has faced some of the hardest things a girl of her age could ever face,” Amanda says, “and she has emerged on the other side with unending joy, unwavering belief in herself and others, and determination when all [signs] said give up.”

“I always sighed with relief when I saw her always-smiling, positive face at my front door, and to this day, she is still faithful in being with Kelly on a regular basis with genuine sisterly love.”
– Little Sister Kelly’s foster mom

Little Sister Kelly says she knew right away that she could trust Amanda. She says she sensed Amanda’s “compassionate energy” and that Amanda immediately puts people at ease.

Every time they get together, Amanda says, she tries to discuss a character trait with Kelly. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” is not a question Amanda would ask. “I focus our conversations not around what she wants to be in occupation, but who she wants to become,” Amanda says. “What she wants people to say about her, how she wants others to feel around her and what values she wants to live by.” Kelly engages in these conversations, and both Big Sister Amanda and Little Sister Kelly challenge each other to learn and grow.

The next stage of Kelly’s growth is her transition to college. With a stellar GPA and a commitment to her education, Kelly’s college plans are on track. Big Sister Amanda is helping her with her essays and searching with her for scholarships. “With the stress of college applications and scholarships, Amanda has prodded me to stay focused on due dates and to persevere through my more pressing senioritis,” Kelly says.

For almost two years, Ryan has been the consistent and positive male presence that Robert needed. Robert’s mom has been a wonderful supporter of her son, but faces the demands of working two jobs and having four other children to take care of. Ryan has been able to focus on the things that Robert was interested in but didn’t have the opportunity to do.

Ryan is a detective, and he leads an active lifestyle. Robert was interested in sports, but had never been able to play on a team. Robert’s mom simply didn’t have the extra money for lessons, gear, or fees.

When summer approached, Ryan knew Robert’s family wasn’t likely to have money for a sports camp. He found one through the local Minor League Baseball team and got his fellow officers to donate old equipment so Robert could participate. Pretty soon, Robert was all about baseball.

“That’s all he talked about,” Robert’s mom says. “[He was] wanting to run, wanting to be a baseball player. But it’s hard to say ‘this is what he’s into,’ because he’s into everything. He loves everything.”

Later in the summer, when Usain Bolt and other Olympic runners were all anyone talked about, Robert got the running bug. Ryan took him to the police gym so he could run sprints. Ryan timed him with a stopwatch.

“Now, everything is sprints,” Ryan says. “I pick him up from school and he wants to run sprints, wants me to time him.”

Almost two years ago, Ryan and several of his fellow officers became Big Brothers through BBBS of Southwest Virginia’s Oliver Hill program, in which volunteers, including members of the law enforcement community, are matched in one-to-one mentoring relationships with elementary school children. The mentors, Big Brothers or Big Sisters, meet their Littles each week at a set time.

When Ryan and his fellow volunteer officers first walked into the classroom in uniform, the kids shied away. “They were actually a little fearful,” Ryan says.

“ Above all else, we want kids to know we’re a safe place. ”

– Big Brother Ryan

Returning week after week to work one-on-one with their Littles and to do activities with the entire group, the officers gained the students’ trust. Now, when Ryan and the other officers visit the neighborhood where the students live, they are excited. They shout hello to them, point out to other kids that they know those officers.

Recently, Robert’s class at school discussed law enforcement careers.

“Let’s talk about police officers. What do police officers do?” his teacher asked.

Another child spoke up. “Shoot people,” he said.

Robert had to say something. “No,” he said, “that’s not true. My Big Brother is a police officer and he doesn’t shoot people.”

Ryan tells this story as a testament to the impact positive, caring adults in the law enforcement community can have on kids, but he is just as eager to talk about the effect mentoring Robert has had on him. Being able to get to know his family has changed his life, he says. “When you’re a police officer, a lot of times, you deal with the one percent of people who are negative. You can get jaded,” he says. “99 percent of our interactions are with that one percent. That’s why I wanted to do this. Being in the neighborhood with the kids, you get to see how good people are.”

To learn more about Bigs in Blue, please visit www.bigsinblue.org.

When Big Brother John and Little Brother first met, Dominic was a shy, energetic 8-year-old. With little contact with his father, he had developed trust and anger issues that ran deep.

“Through his life there were a lot of male figures who always let him down,” Dominic’s mom says. A single parent whose disability and means kept her from being able to give Dominic opportunities that she wanted to, she decided to enroll him at Big Brothers Big Sisters of Colorado.

Big Brother John concentrated on giving Dominic opportunities to try new things and learn new skills, like golf and snowboarding, but he also tried to make sure that Dominic was learning manners and social skills along the way. Through BBBS of Colorado, the two of them got the opportunity to take golf lessons. Dominic says he never imagined he would like golf, but it turned out he was a naturally good putter.

During one lesson, Dominic missed an eight-foot putt. He grew angry quickly, and knocked someone else’s ball off the green. Big Brother John dealt with Dominic’s anger right then, telling him that it was okay to be upset, but that it wasn’t okay to deal with it by taking it out on someone else. “He was upset with me and did not talk to me for about a half hour, but we went back to that lesson,” John says. “As we got into my truck to leave, Dominic apologized and told me he would not do it again.” One-on-one moments like this have allowed Big Brother John to listen to Dominic, acknowledge his feelings, and help him move forward.

“I tell people the best thing you can do is volunteer. It helps you put your life in perspective, and I feel it changes your priorities for the better. It has not been easy, but more rewarding than I could have imagined.”
– Big Brother John

Big Brother John has also tried to help Dominic plan for the future. His first goal has always been to simply be there for Dominic, to not let Dominic down. He says he focuses on “showing him how to treat others, and how to carry himself in various situations. Also helping him to set goals, like finishing high school, thinking about and planning for college.”

Dominic’s mom says she thinks her son’s teenage years would have turned out a lot differently if he hadn’t had a Big Brother like John. “Without John in his life, he wouldn’t be graduating, he would be really disrespectful to adults, and getting in a lot more fights,” she says. Having John there to deal with his behavior and support him in his efforts to change his actions and his perspective has been key.

Dominic got a job after graduating high school and is now enrolled in college.

The most important part of their relationship, Dominic’s mom says, is that John is there for her son no matter what. “John has helped Dominic the most by being there for him and not disappointing him,” she says. “He was there for everything in his life since he was 8 years old, and he never let Dominic down.”

When Little Sister Jazzy and her grandmother arrived in Hawaii, they had nowhere to live and very little money. They stayed with a family member for a while and eventually ended up in a homeless shelter that was dangerous and scary for Jazzy. Her life certainly was hard after school, but at first, it was hard at school, too. Jazzy was bullied by other kids, and she struggled to keep up with lessons.

“When I went to school the first day, it was difficult. I didn’t understand,” Jazzy says. “The teacher called on me to answer but I couldn’t.” Jazzy’s grandmother spoke very little English when she first got to Hawaii, and was focused on meeting Jazzy’s basic needs.

At the homeless shelter, a Big Brothers Big Sisters of Hawaii staff member came to explain BBBS and to hand out applications for Littles. Right away, Jazzy knew she wanted a Big Sister. She was matched with Big Sister Lesley. For almost the first full year of their match, Jazzy was living in the homeless shelter. Even when it was overly complicated to make plans, because of the language barrier or the family’s lack of access to a phone, Lesley met consistently with Jazzy. They went to the movies, worked on school work, went fishing, and tried new foods.

“Lesley and this program, it’s helping Jazzy live a better life.”
–Little Sister Jazzy’s grandmother

“She takes her to do all kinds of things I didn’t know about before, like different botanical gardens [and] the zoo,” Jazzy’s grandmother says. “I’m so thankful for Lesley. If it wasn’t for Lesley, Jazzy would have never known about these new things in Hawaii.”

Big Sister Lesley tries to give Jazzy the opportunity to enjoy being a kid, but she also tries to make sure she is always learning new things and improving in school. Little Sister Jazzy says Lesley has helped her do more than adjust to school in Hawaii – she’s now excelling in it. “Lesley is special because she is able to explain things to me so that I understand it and get better at it,” Jazzy says. “I realized that by being with Lesley, she would help me accomplish my goals at school and, one day, I would get to go to college.”

Big Sister Lesley says she concentrates on sharing new experiences with Jazzy. She taught Jazzy that college is within her reach, even though none of her family members have attended, and that there is a broader world outside the life she has now.

In the three years since Little Sister Jazzy was matched with Lesley, Jazzy’s grandmother has worked hard to make sure that Jazzy now has a safe place to live. “But Jazzy and her family still live in extreme poverty, the kind of poverty that is all-consuming,” Lesley says. “Fortunately, Jazzy is resilient. And kind. And funny as all get-out. She is an absolute joy to be around, despite her hardships.”

Comic book authors and comic enthusiasts take over Albuquerque, New Mexico each January during ComicCon, a massive convention celebrating all things comic book, superhero, fantasy, and sci-fi. Among those excited fans are Big Sister Connie and Little Sister Jillian, who have made attending the convention together a yearly tradition.

Matched since 2006, Big Sister Connie and Little Sister Jillian both say they feel like sisters. When they first met, Little Sister Jillian was 6.

They started their friendship slowly, heading to simple outings like dinner at McDonald’s. Jillian was shy, but slowly opened up to Connie. Jillian is a private person, and didn’t always want to talk about what she struggled with at home. Connie could see that she was carrying a lot and made it easy for Jillian to share with her. “I tell her my problems and work things out,” Jillian says.

Even when Jillian was very young, her mother knew that she would benefit from having a mentor. “Connie has been there for Jillian when things were not going well, especially with ongoing family issues,” Jillian’s mom says. Having another caring adult in her life helped Jillian feel supported and grow.

“She has shown me to open up more. She gives me another perspective of life.”
– Little Sister Jillian

“I was someone who was scared to try new things,” Little Sister Jillian says. Now, she approaches unfamiliar situations with confidence. Jillian’s mom says her friendship with Connie has been key. “Connie has helped transform Jillian from being a shy young girl to becoming a confident, outgoing young lady,” Jillian’s mom says.

Big Sister Connie encourages Jillian to be proud of her unique personality and distinct interests. Jillian loves all types of art, including sculpture, orchestra, visual art, and of course, comic book art.

With Connie, she has been able to explore these interests. Jillian has been exposed to new activities, and she has been encouraged to express herself, and that has been a big part of her development. Jillian will graduate from high school in May, and she hopes to pursue a career in makeup artistry or film production.

Having a Big Sister has made a big impact on Jillian, but being a Big Sister has also had an impact on Connie. Despite her own hectic schedule and the needs of her own family, Connie has made her relationship with Jillian a priority. “If I had not accepted the responsibility of a Little Sister, I would have missed out on so many blessings,” Connie says. “She has taught me more about comic characters and movies than I would have ever known!”