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Before she became the CEO of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Atlantic and Cape May Counties, Beatrix Jerkins was a French teacher. She watched kids in her New Jersey school struggling to make it, needing more help than she was allowed to give. A high-schooler needed a ride home – she wasn’t permitted to drive kids in her car. Another student needed help with something over a weekend – she couldn’t pitch in. As a child from a single-parent household herself, she realized that kids could benefit from more individual attention. In 1983, she signed up to be a Big Sister.

“I thought, I could help a kid, one-on-one,” Beatrix says. “And I wanted, as an African-American female, I wanted to be matched with an African-American Little, because I wanted them to see that they could be successful.”

Beatrix is a five-time Big Sister, and her passion for Big Brothers Big Sisters led her to leave her career as a French teacher to work at her local affiliate. She started out as a caseworker, helping to make and manage positive, long-lasting matches in her community. She retired in May 2016 after 23 years as the CEO of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Atlantic and Cape May Counties.

Even as CEO, she continued her match relationships, both community-based and school-based. “They always gave me the kids they thought I could handle. I wasn’t afraid of them,” she says. “Someone else would say they were scared, or the family was too tough or the neighborhood was too rough. Atlantic City is not a community where just anyone could walk in and feel safe.”

“ You just don’t know how things are affecting kids. They just need to know they have someone to lean on or go to”

– Big Sister Beatrix

Being a caseworker in communities like that, and being a Big to children living in those communities, gave Beatrix the perspective to manage her agency in a way that would benefit communities that needed help most.

Beatrix’s first and second community-based matches both ended when the Littles were placed in foster care out of the area. Her third match lasted a decade. Little Sister Christina was a “gabby, chatty kid,” Beatrix says. “She was one of nine children, she had eight brothers and sisters. Her mother felt that she needed that extra loving care.”

Sometimes, Beatrix says, the kids who need mentorship the most can get lost because they are quiet about what they need. She encouraged her agency’s Match Support Specialists to pay attention to those kids. “Sometimes it’s harder to keep a match together when the kids seem like they don’t need it,” she says. “But the ones that seemingly don’t need it, or aren’t expressing their appreciation, or aren’t showing signs of distress, you just don’t know how things are affecting them.”

Little Sister Christina, the Little who Beatrix was matched with the longest, was kind of like that. Beatrix often wondered whether she could have done more for Christina. One day, Beatrix said to her, “I look around, I see your friends, they’re all pregnant.” Christina was accustomed to conversations about decisions and her future. Beatrix asked, “How come you don’t have a baby?” Christina, who had eight siblings, had her answer ready. “No, I’m going to be like you. I’m going to wait,” she said.

Decades later, Beatrix is still close with almost all of her former Littles, most of whom now have families of their own. She’s even kept up with some of the parents she met as a caseworker in the 1980s. The caseworker or Match Support Specialist role is the most important part of the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, Beatrix says. “It’s what differentiates Big Brothers Big Sisters – you’re calling them all the time, you’re calling the Big, you’re calling the parent, you’re talking to the Little,” she says. “We spend so much time talking to all three parties, and without that piece, the matches wouldn’t make it.”

When Little Sister Heather’s older siblings moved away, she felt abandoned. “She was feeling sad, angry, and having behavior outbursts at school to the point that she was losing friends and being made fun of,” her parents say.

A child with a developmental disability and a speech impairment, Heather needed an understanding, patient support network. “Heather was missing out on growth outside our circle,” Heather’s mom says. “We felt she needed more than just her dad and I. She needed to feel loved and important outside our house.”

Heather’s parents enrolled her at Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Oregon, and more than four years ago, she was matched with her Big Sister, Cinnamon. The company Cinnamon works for, Umpqua Bank, supports the community by allowing employees paid time off each week to do volunteer work. Some employees limit their volunteer work to work hours, but Cinnamon sees her Little Sister on Heather’s schedule.

“The time I spend with Heather gives her parents a rest from the constant caring and needs that come with having a handicapped child, and it gives me a rest from my everyday responsibilities in a busy, noisy world,” Cinnamon says.

Spending time with Big Sister Cinnamon has helped Little Sister Heather work on her self-esteem, emotional resilience, and life skills. People sometimes have a hard time understanding her because of her speech impairment, but she is better at dealing with that now, too, her parents say. “She has so much more confidence speaking to people and doesn’t get angry if they don’t understand her the first time,” Heather’s parents say. “We feel these gains are a direct result of Cinnamon’s involvement with Heather.”

“ It is a privilege and an honor for me to be a part of Heather’s life and to watch her grow and change. It is also a humbling experience for me to understand on a small level what it means to care for a child with Heather’s unique needs.” – Big Sister Cinnamon

Heather has overcome many of the challenges she faced that led her parents to enroll her as a Little Sister four years ago. Her self-esteem has improved, and she now exhibits model behavior at school. “She has many friends with and without disabilities, and is a healthy, happy, beautiful young lady,” her parents say.

In the time Little Sister Heather and Big Sister Cinnamon have been matched, they have gone horseback riding, visited a petting zoo, painted ceramics, and seen a live concert in the park. One of their favorite activities to do together is spend time in the kitchen following recipes and preparing meals. Cinnamon wanted to make sure Heather was learning life skills to ensure her independence, so she began helping Heather practice cooking skills. “Cinnamon is my friend and I love her,” Heather says. “We make soup together and have dinner together.”

Being creative, kind and patient help Cinnamon as a mentor. Cinnamon says she finds ways to work through Heather’s challenges and that ultimately, she benefits from having a Little Sister as much as Heather benefits from having a Big.

“Heather’s parents sought out Big Brothers Big Sisters because they wanted Heather to matter to someone else besides just them,” she says, “and I volunteered for Big Brothers Big Sisters because I needed to do something that mattered to someone.”

At 8 years old, Alyssa was shy. Withdrawn. She did not like speaking in front of people, and she had a hard time expressing herself. When she first met her Big Sister, Karen, she answered Karen’s questions quietly, with one-word answers.

“Do you like math?” Karen asked the 8-year-old during their first meeting.

“Yes,” she said.

Big Sister Karen and Little Sister Alyssa were first matched as part of Nutmeg Big Brothers Big Sisters’ Beyond School Walls program, a workplace mentoring program in which students visit an office or workplace on a set schedule and meet with their mentor, an employee of that company. Big Sister Karen is Comcast’s Western New England Manager of Community Investment. When Alyssa graduated from Beyond School Walls, the pair decided to continue their match by enrolling in the community-based program.

Big Sister Karen has made it a priority to introduce Alyssa to new experiences. “Together we have created memories of days volunteering and days spent at the library, bowling, and baking and cooking, golfing, drawing, trips to the theater, museums, bike rides, movie nights, an adventure in New York City, and walks with the dog,” Karen says. No matter what they’re doing, Alyssa says, her Big Sister always manages to teach her something.

“ I’m happy that Karen has come into my life. She makes me smile, teaches me things, and makes me feel I can do things that I thought I might not be able to do before I met her.”

– Little Sister Alyssa

Little Sister Alyssa’s mom says Karen has instilled in Alyssa the value of volunteerism, sharpened her focus on schoolwork, and brought her out of her shell. “Before they were matched, Alyssa knew very little – if anything – about volunteerism,” Alyssa’s mom says. “Volunteerism is a way of life to Karen.” Now, Alyssa believes it is important to help out in the community.

The commitment to giving back is part of what drove Little Sister Alyssa to do things she thought she would never do, like appear on television or give a speech in front of hundreds of people. So when Nutmeg BBBS selected Karen and Alyssa as a match to highlight during their gala, Alyssa was ready when the local news station wanted to interview them. “Karen helped me with what I’d say and what the TV people would ask me,” Alyssa said. “It turned out to be lots of fun. My friends and family said they watched me and that I did very well. That was the best!”

Not only did they speak on television about their match and speak in front of 300 people at the gala, but they also raised money for Nutmeg BBBS as part of a “Sponsor Our Speech” promotion. Using an online platform, they raised more than $4,000. All of this seems impossible for a girl who was first described as shy and withdrawn.

In the three years they have been matched, Alyssa has become much more confident. She hasn’t started high school yet, but her mom says she is already planning on going to college. She even ran for a position on student government.

“Karen has also helped me learn to express myself,” Alyssa says. “I used to be very shy and wasn’t comfortable speaking up in front of people. That’s not true anymore.”

Standing within school grounds and looking out at the landscape, Big Brother Dan and Little Brother Jordan could see New Mexico’s Seven Sisters, a series of small volcano mounds. When Big Brother Dan and Little Brother Jordan were first matched, Jordan was in third grade. Their match began with Dan visiting Jordan at school each week. They played games, did homework, read books, and looked out at the hiking trails. “We would tell each other stories about dinosaurs and saber-toothed chipmunks (he didn’t buy that one) and how they roamed the mesa, being careful to stay out of the lava,” Dan says. “He would ask a question about something and I would try to explain it.”

Being a school-based match allowed them to focus on getting to know one another, without the added challenges of coordinating schedules or planning activities. “Jordan and I spent our first year strictly site-based, exploring the school library and playground, and it gave us an opportunity to get to know each other,” Dan says. “We spent our time walking and talking about anything and everything he wanted to talk about. He had a curiosity I enjoyed.”

After learning about Jordan’s passion for nature and history, Big Brother Dan wanted to help Jordan explore the land they discussed so often. Like many site-based matches, they transitioned their match from site-based visits at the school to community-based.

“ He is helping teach Jordan responsibility and respect. If you start a project, you see it to the end and do it the best you can.”

– Little Brother Jordan’s mom

Little Brother Jordan chose their first outside-of-school adventure: a trip to the National Atomic Museum. Dan and Jordan have been matched for more than four years now, and they have explored historic sites, gone hiking in the Taos Mountains, the West Mesa Volcanoes, and the Sandia Large Array. “The impact I have had on Jordan was showing him there is more out there than is on TV or in Albuquerque,” Big Brother Dan says.

As Jordan moved toward adolescence, Jordan’s mom says Dan’s influence was crucial. “As a single mom, it was important to have a strong, positive male figure in Jordan’s life. Someone to look up to,” she says. “Since Jordan’s dad is not in the picture, Dan has sort of filled that void. There is only so much a mom can understand or provide as far as ‘boy stuff.’”

The support of Jordan’s mom has been just as essential, Big Brother Dan says. “I don’t think people know how important parent involvement is to a match,” he says.

Jordan’s mom says she is truly grateful that Jordan has Dan for a Big Brother. She says he is a positive role model for her son. “He is helping to teach Jordan responsibility and respect,” she says. “If you start a project, you see it to the end and do it the best you can.” Together, they have built a bicycle, rebuilt a tractor, and constructed a clubhouse. After Dan taught Jordan how a bicycle works, Jordan was able to change out his mom’s bike tire.

In the four years they have been matched, Little Brother Jordan has come a long way with his social skills and attitude, and he is happy to have Dan as his Big Brother. “We might not like the same football teams, or have the same decision on who’s going to win in ‘Batman vs. Superman,’” Jordan says, “but what I do know is that we are really good friends.”

Little Sister Monica recently wrapped up her freshman year at Bethel University. She sings in the women’s chorale, she’s involved with student government, and she is the first person in her family to attend a four-year university. As a single parent, Monica’s mom says her daughter’s Big Sister was a huge help to them in Monica’s teen years. “She has guided Monica in some tough situations,” she says. “She has also helped with guiding Monica on a path to college and discussing options with her of that decision.”

Monica and Angela were matched for nine years, until Monica graduated from high school and aged out of the program. In a blog post she wrote as a letter to her Big Sister, Monica said, “Thank you for being my biggest fan. You celebrated big wins like getting into my dream college and mourned big losses like the boy I thought I would spend forever with.”

This wasn’t always guaranteed, though. When Little Sister Monica was a teenager, she and Angela hit a rough patch in their relationship. Monica was set on terminating their match. Angela held out hope that Monica would reconsider. “Months went by where the only contact Monica and I would have is my occasional text of ‘I am here when you need me’ or ‘Ready to talk when you are.’”

“I have learned a lot about myself and the person I want to be because of the amazing role model she is.”

-Little Sister Monica

Angela had grown to care about her Little Sister so much, she says, that she broke down several times, upset about Monica’s attitude and disrespectfulness, and the deterioration of their relationship. “Being a Big to Monica is similar to the unconditional support of true family members, and this includes the low points, too,” she says. So she stayed available to Monica and tried to understand and support her.

That kind of support is not always easy.

“Watching movies together, going to dinner, playing mini-golf – that is the easy stuff,” Angela says. “The hardest part of this program is not quitting on kids that have known nothing else. But let me tell you, if you push through those hard moments, it is worth it.”

Angela’s patience paid off. After waiting and waiting for Monica to circle back to her, Angela got a phone call. “It was Monica, crying from the girls’ bathroom at her high school. She needed me. She missed me. She knew I would pick up the phone when no one else would.”

Now, when Monica describes Angela’s impact on her life, she says she looks to Angela as a role model. “I want to show compassion to others the way Angela shows me every day. I want to be patient like Angela is with me when I’m being a teenage girl,” she says. “I want to make others smile like Angela did for me when I all I wanted was to cry in my room.”

Technically, their match ended last spring when Monica aged out of the program. But both say their relationship will continue. “I plan to be there and support her through this next phase of her life,” Angela says,“by continuing to be a listening ear, buying her meals that have nothing to do with ramen noodles, and, in four years, watching her don a cap and gown to accept a diploma.”

Being a Big may be a marathon, but the end of their official match was not the finish line of Angela’s personal commitment to Big Brothers Big Sisters. She now works for BBBS of Southern Minnesota, helping make sure more Bigs get to the starting line of their own matches.

When Little Brother Miguel and Big Brother Stefan were first matched, Miguel had just lost his bicycle. Big Brother Stefan suggested they build him a new one. The first step was to find the right parts. They combed the junkyard. They sanded and painted the components and learned the mechanics of how a bike works. Over time, they built from scratch not just one but two bicycles. Big Brother Stefan confesses that he knew that while they were building the bikes, they were also building their relationship. He was teaching his Little Brother that if you want to create something good out of nothing, you have to be patient and work hard. “While many of our outings have been just for fun, like going to a movie or bowling,” Stefan says, “many have an ulterior motive as well, such as learning something new or honing existing interests, skills and talents.”

More than three years ago, Miguel’s mom signed him up at Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Texas because she saw him developing an attitude. “My son was rebellious with me,” she says. “My son talked back to me and didn’t listen to me. He behaved very poorly at school.” Big Brother Stefan has supported him through struggles and shown him how to be patient and how to relax. “He has motivated me to do better in school and to keep going so I can one day live my dream,” Little Brother Miguel says.

Little Brother Miguel’s mom says that when he started spending time with Stefan, Miguel’s outlook changed. “My son’s attitude changed little by little. Before, he didn’t do the homework his teachers assigned him. Now Stefan motivates him in his schoolwork,” she says. “He told Miguel that if he wanted to be a famous soccer player, he would need to do well at school. Now my son thinks better, and makes better decisions about his studies.”

“Stefan has motivated me to do better in school and keep going so I can one day live my dream.”

-Little Brother Miguel

Big Brother Stefan is a video game developer, and he has shown Miguel the offices where some of his favorite games are made. Being able to talk about video games right away may have helped Miguel bond with his Big Brother quickly, even though he admits he expected his Big Brother to be boring. “But then as we started to get to know each other he showed me that he wasn’t a boring guy,” Miguel says.

Big Brother Stefan decided to become a mentor after participating in Bowl for Kids’ Sake. After recruiting other members of the game development community to raise money and bowl with their team, Stefan began reflecting on the mission for which he was fundraising and thinking about his own life. “I recognized how a number of adults had made positive impacts on me growing up, through activities, projects, or just sharing stories and advice from life experiences,” he says. He decided to help out at just the right time, Miguel’s mom says. “If it weren’t for Stefan, my son would not be the boy he has grown into today.”

In the movies, when spring turns to summer, children hold lemonade stands. For pocket change, you get a cup of lemonade and the satisfaction of having contributed to someone’s camp fund or candy money. But in Springfield, Missouri, 9-year-old Tristan held a lemonade stand that was for something with a much bigger impact: his adoption by his foster mother.

Two years ago, Little Brother Tristan was matched with his Big Brother, Jesse. Tristan had been in and out of foster care, he had seen unconscionable acts of violence and endured neglect and maltreatment that no one should have to experience.

When Tristan was first enrolled as a Little, his match support specialist, Chelsea, says he was slow to trust and didn’t get along with his teachers. Given his history of trauma, she said, this was to be expected. “I think the ultimate goal for Tristan’s match with Jesse is to show him that even with all of the bad experiences he has gone through, there are still good people in the world that care about him that he can look up to and be comfortable around.”

In the two years that Tristan has been matched with his Big Brother, Tristan has made significant progress. “The mending of some trust issues has also helped his self-esteem, relationship with others, and will hopefully put Tristan on the right track for a healthier future,” Chelsea says.

Big Brother Jesse keeps his interaction with Tristan simple. They have gone to the library, gotten ice cream, walked around Bass Pro Shops, gone bowling and played video games. But being a reliable presence is often enough to make a difference. It may not seem like a huge transformation, Chelsea says, “but for Tristan to know that there are people out there that are good and worth trusting is a big deal.”

I think the ultimate goal for Tristan’s match with Jesse is to show him that even with all of the bad experiences he has gone through, there are still good people in the world that care about him that he can look up to and be comfortable around.

-Big Brothers Big Sisters Match Support Specialist Chelsea

A key lesson that Tristan has learned through his relationship with his Big Brother is that there are caring adults who will help when they can. When their match support specialist was trying to schedule a routine meeting, Tristan’s foster mom mentioned to Chelsea that Tristan was raising money to pay for his own adoption. He was having a bake sale, she said, and a lemonade stand. Perhaps other BBBS of the Ozarks staff would want to join her to support their Little, Chelsea thought. They checked with the family and sent the information to local news outlets. “By that afternoon, almost every media outlet (television and paper) had interviewed Donnie and Tristan,” Chelsea said. “And you could say that their story had gone ‘locally viral’ by that evening.”

Little Brother Tristan’s crowdfunding page shows a goal of $5,000. The page shows that so far, they have raised over $24,000. The page gives an extremely detailed history of the trauma Tristan has endured. Chelsea, who is not only Tristan and Jesse’s match support specialist but also the agency’s Director of Programs, says that she hopes people read his whole story. “I think the world sometimes tries to cover up or tiptoe around the child abuse topic because it’s uncomfortable, but just because it’s uncomfortable doesn’t mean that it’s not happening,” she says. “I think Tristan and Donnie have inspired some child abuse awareness and hopefully awareness can inspire prevention.”

This is a different sort of big impact story. It’s about the impact that is possible when a group of people in the community rally around a child and do what they can. In this case, it was the routine, caring work of a match support specialist, the commitment and constancy of a Big Brother, the extra effort of the BBBS of the Ozarks staff, and the attention of the media, not to mention the guidance and safety of a foster parent, that made this lemonade stand have a Big Impact.

Little Sister Laila and Big Sister Katie have been matched for nearly a decade. They first met on Laila’s eighth birthday and have been constant presences in each other’s lives. Big Sister Katie was named a godparent at her Little Sister’s Quinceañera. Little Sister Laila danced the hula at her Big Sister’s wedding, threw her a baby shower, and visited her in the hospital after she gave birth.

Katie volunteered to be a Big because she had a healthy, supportive childhood. “I grew up in an environment comprised of family, solid friendships and supportive mentors, all of whom helped shape me into who I am today,” she says. Katie recognized that she was lucky to have grown up in such a nurturing environment, and she wanted to give back.

At first, Katie and Laila bonded over little adventures like hiking and beach cleanups, and also mellow activities like baking and going out to eat. “I started as a little girl always wanting to go eat burgers and then shave ice all the time,” Laila says, but now she’s “a young lady that can just talk to my sister about boys and sister things.”

In the almost 10 years they have been matched, Laila has had to overcome a lot, Katie says. “Each step along the way, we’ve stayed close and she has always been open and honest with everything going on. I have seen her face many obstacles in life.”

“Our lives are interwoven. Her Successes are my successes.”

-Big Sister Katie

In her teen years, Laila wrestled with self-esteem issues. She was bullied and she began doing poorly in her classes. She started hanging out with the wrong crowd. She refused to give up on herself, though, and Katie helped her through her toughest times. “I think a sister is a woman that’s always there for you and lifting you up at your lowest,” Laila says.

Knowing she had to make the decisions that would lead to a positive future, Little Sister Laila moved to Oahu to participate in the Hawaii National Guard’s Youth ChalleNGe program. Youth ChalleNGe is an intense, 17-and-a-half-month program for at-risk youth. “She has had to make the hard choice of actively changing friends so she can surround herself with positive influences,” Katie says. When Laila earned her diploma last May, two people were permitted to fly to Oahu to attend the graduation ceremony. Laila’s mom, of course, made the trip. So did her Big Sister.